I can’t even explain how liberating it feels to go somewhere brand new and start over.
This past year I felt suffocated by the world more than I ever have before. I don’t think anyone besides my roommates and my family knows the extent it got to.
It felt that everywhere I went or anyone I met that people I couldn’t escape the reality I was trying to avoid. I remember thinking after Halloween weekend how much I didn’t want to go home or really see anyone from there, which is the furthest thing from myself. It felt as if I was the center of some joke that kept centering around me beyond my control. Especially by people from home who have not grown past the high school drama.
It became hard to feel like people aren’t acting with wrongful intentions. Simply put, I felt small (moreso than someone who is 5’3 already would lolol).
To be vulnerable, I am not one who cries about things that hurt me. I weirdly only cry at things that make me super happy. My roommate, who has been my roommate since freshman year, has probably only seen me cry a single number of times. But this semester it got to the point where I started sobbing on her shoulder because of the lack of trust and reliability I felt in anyone.
Now, as contradicting as this sounds, this past semester was the best of my life. There were of flare-ups but that is life and I don’t want to create the image that I spent more than one weekend visibly upset or depressed with my life.
I just want to share how liberating it feels to be in Italy right now. I am sitting at bar, writing, in a country completely unknown to me, surrounded by people who speak a language I hardly understand. The people here only know me by the person I am now. There are no strings attached to the actions I take here and no one to base decisions on besides my own desires. That is something I will never take for granted.
I was inspired to write this while listening to a song that reminded me of a happy time at a concert I attended last year. It was a song that now has a new meaning and reminds me that I am free. Free to be on my own, free from the things that bring me down.
You are not attached to the people or things that hinder your growth. Once you feed in to what was sent to shake your faith, you give it power to control your life. Life is absolutely way too short to let any ounce of negativity affect your fullest potential. Make sure to remember to choose the people who choose you & create the life you love, nothing is stopping you.
Your life is yours.
sent with emphasis 