practicing non-attachment

The art of non-attachment is allowing what comes to you, come and what leaves you, leave.

When putting substantial importance on the things you do not have in your life, you block the ability to focus and enjoy what you have. Similarly, when placing expectations on people or situations, you simply try to control what will happen instead of letting it be. This will only lead to disappointment.

To undergo this mindset is precisely what makes it challenging: recognizing that you do not possess people, things, or relationships in your life. To an extent, ownership is expressed through marriage, leases, or other sorts of contracts – but nothing outside of yourself is truly yours.

Practicing non-attachment starts with removing extensive expectations on what should happen instead of trying your best to just let things happen. Of course, this is easier said than done, especially when life requires certain responsibilities and goals to be considered “successful.”

However, I am NOT saying that you shouldn’t dream or fantasize or even have goals, for that matter, but more so that it is dangerous to let them consume and dictate how you live.

It is about learning how to be more involved in life instead of attached to it. 

Attaching yourself to something means that you have another factor controlling your joy. We as humans tend to give so much power to external components and become causalities to the world’s harsh unpredictability. Attachment to superficial items has no greater happiness or purpose beyond a single burst of dopamine.

Think of that one Instagram picture you want with that perfect outfit in the perfect setting; if you do not execute it exactly how you imagined it, you are disappointed and contaminate the present moment. On the other hand, if the picture does happen to exceed your expectation, then what? You are temporarily gratified with some likes and comments, that is all. Feeling attached to life puts immense amounts of joy on fleeting things. If you let the moment be what it is, you are more fulfilled with sustaining peace.

We mustn’t allow society’s cruel standards, nor the opinions or comparisons of others, dictate our life. The only thing we are truly in control of is our mindset, choices, and reactions to life’s situations.

Association is also a form of attachment. It allows for assumption and judgment. While situations by default can be similar, let each experience be individual.

Lastly, it is crucial to recognize that non-attachment applies to futuristic, present, and past moments. For me, non-attachment is the most difficult to practice when it comes to regret. It is easy for me to obsess over how certain experiences should have gone. I try my best to affirm and understand that it is a waste of time because if it were meant to happen, it would have, and better things are in store. But, again, this is easier said than done.

I always try to remember that I am putting my immense faith in God and His plan. Understand that everything is connected. Mistakes either reroute you or teach you an essential lesson.   

Not recognizing the difference between living and attaching can cost you your mindfulness and joy. Choose to live the moments of life instead of becoming attached and letting them control you.